Let the Truth Be Told- Part 2

The morning of October 15th my family rose at approximately 4:30 in the morning.  We all prepared for the day ahead of us.  Paityn took "before" pictures for me and Corbin made sure that I had everything I would need.  We packed Paityn up and dropped her off at a friends (thank you Caddie) who would take her to school.  We were off.  We arrived at Poudre Valley Hospital at just after 6 am.  The time of prep for surgery flew by.  Doctor came to see me, anesthesiologist came to discuss my pump, IV was started and glasses were removed.  As I was wheeled away I looked at my Mom and Corbin (who were both so great about the EARLY morning) and knew that this was the beginning of something that would be a huge change for me.

My buddy, Zander, visiting the night of surgery.
And, YES, I asked for him to come sit by me! 

As I woke from the operation my initial feeling was one of pure joy.  I had made it through surgery and was alive.  Now, that might sound funny, but after weeks of preparation, including my will and many discussions with my family about what to do if something happened to me, this was a blessing!  I was alive and awake enough to realize that the pain medication they were putting in me were NOT working.  Oh my goodness, the pain!!  Thankfully, the nurses were quick to change the pain meds and I began to just desire to be in my room with my husband and mom.  I quickly began to ask how long until I could just go to my room.  As the next few days went by I found that I was elated by little things like little guys finding entertainment in my legs, a tray of shot glass size servings, the ability to walk "a lap" around the floor I was on, texts conversations with my family, and the ability to go home.

My first "food" after surgery, a shot glass serving of jello and chicken broth

Texting pics to my brother from the hospital bed. Yes, that's how we roll! 

I can't even begin to explain what it was like to walk out of the hospital that morning.  In some ways it was feelings of pure excitement, but in other ways it was feelings of fear.  I was now on my own.  All my research and preparation would be put to the test.  No matter how scared I was, I was overjoyed to get to see Paityn, got to snuggle with my kitty's and got to SLEEP!  Yep, that is all I did for the first few days.  As someone who goes constantly, the idea of slowing down and allowing my body to heal is still not one that I "get" very easily.  I am constantly receiving reminders from those that love me that I have to remember that I had a major surgery and need to rest. Despite all the reminders, this is a lesson I still find hard to remember.  I have found that there are days of doing so well, I over-do it, and then need a day to recover.  I am slowly learning and slowly finding that each day brings more energy and more abilities.  For those daily blessings, I am thankful.

Food is a whole new thing to me now.  I must say, I was ready to never have another liquid in my life after two weeks of nothing but a full liquid diet.  And, of that two weeks I spent the first week struggling to get anything into me as the carnation instant breakfast that is to be the main staple for the first two weeks did nothing but upset my stomach.  Thankfully, my Mom had a brilliant idea of bringing me a pre-made breakfast drink.  Now, I know that the dietitian talked about being able to drink some of these, but the savvy shopper in me just didn't want to spend the money.  Well, after nearly a week of no nutrients I was ready for anything.  That morning of a drink from my Mom saved me.  I have drank nothing but premade drinks ever since and have found they settle on my stomach with no problems.  Amazing what we learn. I have often said that I don't know what to do with myself because I feel like I have someone else's body.

One can of soup is now at least 4 servings

The first real food I ate after being released
off the full liquid diet.  Ok, I actually ate more broth
then anything else, but it was the idea of having
real food.  

My first cooked meal...2 oz of fish and 1/4 Cup of spinach

I was one happy Mama when I was released to drive!!!

So, what does this surgery mean to me so far.  IT IS PRICELESS!!!!  You know I mentioned diabetes since age 3 in my first post.  Well, that diabetes has always been complicated by being extremely insulin resistant.  Then you add my diagnosis of fibromyalgia to it, well, I'm a complicated patient to say the least!!  So, we really didn't know what the outcome would be.  Decreased insulin need and hopeful improvement of my fibromyalgia due to the weight loss were my wishes.  Little did I know just what God had in store for me.  This is what it really has meant to me so far:

• Did my last injection of a weekly insulin sensitizer the week before surgery
• Off of the daily oral insulin sensitizer that was four pills a day.  Took my last dose the night before surgery
• using only 50% of the insulin I used before surgery
• DID YOU SEE THAT PREVIOUS ONE... 50%.  That's crazy people!!!! 
• Off of one fibromyalgia medication that was two pills a day
• AND, as of today, weight loss of 18 pounds (nearly 28% of the weight I need to lose to get to the weight my PCP would be happy with me at and 22% of the weight I need to lose to get to my goal weight.  That's 22% in three and a half weeks.  That blows my mind) 
• Did I mention I am only using 50% of the insulin I used before surgery?  Just sayin....

Did I mention that I am on NO insulin sensitizer drugs at all and on 50% of the insulin I took before surgery? I know, I already said it, but being off one injection, six pills a day and using so much less insulin makes the surgery worth it, even if I didn't lose any weight.  Now, I am losing weight, but that is just an added bonus at this point.  The health benefits of this surgery were seen the day of surgery.  I feel so much better and I know the weight is a part of it, but the lower insulin usage and less medication is certainly helping too.   

As I bring this to a close I ask for a few things.  

• Understanding with my rambling.  This is as much a process of learning how I feel as it is an explanation for those who asked about my surgery.  And, to those people I apologize for my ignoring of your questions.  I had to process on my own and come to the place of being comfortable saying all of this and sharing. 
• Please be sensitive to the people in society who are in the same place I am.  Being obese does not mean that you are automatically a couch potato who just sits and eats chips all day.  There are many people who have struggled with weight for their whole lives and have failed at every diet you can imagine and not because of a lack of effort.  Love those people.  They need the hugs and love of everyone around them. 
• Lack of judgement.  I know that this is not the choice that every one agrees with.  Heck, I had some of my own family not agree with what I was doing.  Please understand that although this isn't always right for every patient, it was right for me. If you do not want to support me, then please keep the thoughts and opinions that are against me to yourself.  Sharing about this was a very hard decision.  Please don't make me regret it. 
• Know that this isn't the end.  I have just begun this journey.  I know this won't be the last time I share as I go on.  
• Enjoy my last two pics.  This is what the new life is about for me...

My first pile of clothes that are going away, never to return!!!

My newest purchase: because I now need good shoes to get my fitness in